Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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