oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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