For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
