I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
