3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
