So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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