I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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