And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm at about main and main street
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
