Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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