Me too!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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