Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
