Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
