OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
birth control should be required to get into college
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
