just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize