Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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