morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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