I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
