Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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