i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
