i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
