I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
