Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
