as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
