i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
