You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
