What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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