Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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