STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
