Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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