I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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