Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
so much tequila, so little girl.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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