i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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