Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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