I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
