Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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