So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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