I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
