Moan for me like Helen Keller
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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