dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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