A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
