You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
