I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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