I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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