i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
