Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My vagina is officially offended.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
