As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
