Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
