I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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