The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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