Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
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If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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