We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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