john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
