Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
