Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
