...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize