Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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