walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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