he thought i was a dude.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
